


Constant

by Mntsnflrs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Romance, this is just taeil being in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mntsnflrs/pseuds/Mntsnflrs
Summary: He had a stool for reaching the top of his cupboards.“I’m Jungwoo,” Jungwoo had said shyly, red in the cheeks and sweet in the smile.“I have a stool for reaching the top of my cupboards,” Taeil had said.
Relationships: Kim Jungwoo/Moon Taeil
Comments: 22
Kudos: 230





	Constant

**Author's Note:**

> I had a good weekend that ended in a bad way, so I wrote this to cheer myself up. I hope everyone enjoys xo

Love is lasting. It isn’t always beautiful, but even when it looks ugly there is something within that, something too hard to scrape away from your heart. A callous with a hard corn in the middle, digging into your foot.

Jungwoo had laughed until he cried the first time Taeil had tried to explain that to him. He’d kissed Taeil’s cheek, still laughing, happy tears brightening his eyes, and said, “I’ll make sure to fulfil the role of the romantic one, okay? Don’t you dare put that in your vows, if you mention feet during the wedding I think my mother will faint.”

And yeah, it hadn’t come out of his mouth as sweet as he’d intended it to. He just meant – something. That love was enduring. Sometimes it was a pain, sometimes it felt like relief, sometimes it felt like a stone in your shoe. It didn’t matter though. None of that lasted forever. What lasted forever was the way Taeil felt when he woke up and saw Jungwoo’s face squashed against the pillow, lips pouting, hair in his eyes. That’s what mattered. That was the feeling that lasted.

Good or bad, loving Jungwoo had always been a constant.

Tall and handsome, infallibly kind, witty – it would have been much more difficult not to love Jungwoo. Taeil pitied anyone that tried. He’d given up the moment they’d met, and falling had never been so rewarding.

He thought about it while Jungwoo slept.

It always came back to this. Despite enjoying sleep more than most people, Taeil often found himself waking in the early hours, only to stare at Jungwoo. It would sound creepy if he said it, but it wasn’t a habit born of any weird intentions. He just… loved Jungwoo. He felt honoured to sleep with him, to share a small apartment with too many plants and ornaments. He felt like the luckiest person alive to be able to wake up at the asscrack of dawn, disgruntled by his exhaustion, only for everything to fade away when he heard Jungwoo make a small noise in his sleep, one foot dangling off the bed while his arm stuck upright somewhere above his head. He wasn’t always pretty, but he was always Jungwoo, and Taeil was always in love.

Even five years into marriage, that never changed. Taeil knew it never would.

Like Jungwoo, love wasn’t always pretty. They fought. Taeil had an even temper, but when it got a hold of him it burned hot, and Jungwoo was always quick to cry when he was overcome with emotions.

Taeil had spent nights on the couch, or at Johnny’s house.

Jungwoo had stayed with Doyoung or barricaded the bedroom so that Taeil couldn’t wiggle his way back into bed during the night.

But that was rare.

That was rare, and even so, Taeil had never once doubted he was with the right person.

He’d wake up early and buy Jungwoo a bouquet to go with his handwritten apology, then they’d talk.

He’d wake up on the couch with a stiff neck and bad back to find Jungwoo had made him breakfast and was already crying, stuttering a soft apology while he wrung his hands together.

Even so.

Even in the worst moments, before guilt, before forgiveness, he never doubted he was with the right person. Even in their worst moments, Taeil still felt lucky to be where he was, who he was, who he was with. Spending his life with Jungwoo had never become a convenience, it was always his happiness. Even in their worst moments, Taeil knew that waking up in the morning to see Jungwoo splayed across the bed snoring softly was the best thing to ever happen to him.

He’d never expected it, but that made it all the more precious.

He’d met Jungwoo at college, just like most of his friends.

Jungwoo’s hair had been a platinum blonde, and he’d towered over most of the party’s crowd, pink cheeked and nervous despite the way people stared at him like they’d never seen something more perfect.

Taeil couldn’t blame them. He’d probably been staring like that too, looking back.

What had surprised him was that, despite the crowd, Jungwoo had stared right back at him, pink deepening to red as he bowed and introduced himself.

And Johnny.

Johnny was right there.

Not that Taeil was ugly – he knew he wasn’t. But Johnny was there.

_Johnny._

Johnny was tall and handsome and outgoing, and height wise, relationship wise, Johnny and Jungwoo would have looked good together.

Height wise, Taeil was at the same level as Johnny’s knees.

He had a stool for reaching the top of his cupboards.

“I’m Jungwoo,” Jungwoo had said shyly, red in the cheeks and sweet in the smile.

“I have a stool for reaching the top of my cupboards,” Taeil had said.

It wasn’t a romantic introduction, but it was kind of worth it for the way beer squirted out of Johnny’s nose while he’d pretended not to listen in.

And that was the thing. Taeil wasn’t romantic. Or – he was, but not overwhelmingly so. He enjoyed comfortable silences, unspoken affection, soft touches. He liked the quiet romance, the one that was felt more than it was seen.

Jungwoo liked it loud. Not _loud_ loud, but he liked it to be big. Bigger than silence, anyway. Bigger than Taeil had ever had to deal with. Jungwoo enjoyed gift giving and receiving. He enjoyed dinners out and dinners in, movie dates and picnics, hand holding in the park, on the street, store to store as they bought matching clothes and kissed while they waited for the bus.

It had been odd, but it had also been the most rewarding effort Taeil had ever expended.

There was a certain feeling when you were with someone you knew was right for you. It was there in the moments Taeil would pay for dinner and Jungwoo would giggle, nervous and quiet as he asked if he could pay the next time. It was there when Taeil learnt to prepare for their dates with umbrellas and jackets, because whatever the weather Jungwoo liked to walk across the city in the evenings. It was there when Taeil was too exhausted to do anything at all, but Jungwoo would knock on his door anyway and give him a lap to sleep in, a hand stroking through his hair, silent when he knew it was best to be.

That’s what love was. Adapting. Stagnant love was appealing, but the lasting loves were the ones that allowed everyone involved to grow.

Their romance wasn’t out of this world to anyone other than themselves, but what did it matter what other people thought? Taeil was content with no presents for birthdays because they liked to surprise each other with gifts at random points of the year. Jungwoo was content with a big date once a week, the rest of the time outside of their respective jobs dedicated to making each other happy in smaller ways. Cleaning the bathroom together. Volunteering at the local animal shelter and walking the dogs. Sharing clothes despite Jungwoo’s trousers pooling around Taeil’s ankles, despite Taeil’s shirts fitting Jungwoo better than they fitted himself. Movies on the sofa, falling asleep against each other’s shoulders. Takeouts shared despite one of them insisting they weren’t hungry when they placed the order. Taeil waking up at dawn to see Jungwoo asleep and so loved that it felt like a star burning in his chest. Jungwoo felt like his own personal glow. It hurt sometimes, but more than anything he felt the warmth.

Seven years together.

Six living together.

Five married.

It was meant to be a beautiful day. Shining sun and warm air, perfect for their daily walk. The perfect weather for a trip to the botanical gardens Jungwoo had stared at online without realising Taeil had stopped washing the dishes to observe him.

Taeil woke up at the asscrack of dawn, as he did. He stared at Jungwoo, who was face down between pillows with his long legs spread across the bed. His pink bunny pyjamas peeked out beneath their sheets.

Taeil looked out of the window and saw a storm.

He checked his phone and found an email from the botanical gardens requesting to reschedule their visit to the next weekend, offering a full refund for the inconvenience.

Jungwoo grunted suddenly, lifting his face out of the pillows. He blinked up at Taeil blearily before smiling. “Happy anniversary!”

It was _meant_ to be.

Taeil fell back down into the pillows and sighed. “I’m sorry, Woo. I really tried this time.”

Jungwoo leaned over him, peering with his big, beautiful eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I had a walk planned for us before breakfast, and I booked us in at the botanical gardens. It’s going to be storming all day, and the gardens have had some kind of infestation, so they’ve rescheduled us for next weekend.”

Jungwoo took a moment. He sat up, expressionless, and concerned, Taeil followed.

“You booked us in to see the roses?”

Taeil nodded. He found Jungwoo’s hand with his own, holding gently. “I’m sorry, baby. The world was against my plans today.”

Jungwoo looked up with wet eyes. His lower lip quivered. “I don’t care about that,” he said. “I care about you trying to make today so special for me.” He scrubbed his eyes with the back of his free hand. His pink pyjamas were crumpled, his hair messy, his face red, and Taeil loved him. “Thank you for the thought, Taeil. We can walk tomorrow if you like. We can see the roses next weekend when the gardens are open again. I don’t mind when we do it, just that you planned it. That’s what makes it beautiful to me.”

That was something Taeil hadn’t known before he’d met Jungwoo.

Relationships failed when people stopped making an effort, but really, if you were with the right person, effort didn’t feel like effort. It felt natural. Taking Jungwoo to see the roses felt like a natural thing to do on their fifth anniversary, because Taeil knew it would make him happy in the same way that having lots of friends and family at the wedding had made him happy. Taeil was a quiet guy. He wanted a small wedding, but he wanted Jungwoo happy more than he wanted his solitude.

In the same way, Jungwoo had wanted Taeil happy.

They’d settled on a small reception and a bigger party afterwards.

Taeil couldn’t remember a better day than when he’d said yes and Jungwoo had said it back.

Jungwoo scrubbed his eyes again and then bent over the side of the bed. He came back up with a small box tied with a pink ribbon. “I got you a gift. I know we don’t usually do that, but I wanted to make the day special for you too.”

Taeil took it with reverent hands. “Thank you, baby.”

Jungwoo kissed him, soft and close lipped. He smiled, wobbly. “Open it.”

Taeil untied the ribbon. In the box lay two tickets to something called ‘The Missing Library.’ “I don’t understand, baby. What is this?”

“It’s an underground library that lets you tour the old records. It’s booked for noon today.” His smile widened, still wobbly and wet eyed. “It’s indoors. I’m kind of glad the gardens are closed, or my present would have gone to waste. Now we can celebrate over two weekends.”

Jungwoo didn’t have any particular interest in libraries, he just knew that Taeil liked to read obscure things, learn odd information. “You booked this for me?”

Jungwoo nodded. A tear spilled down his cheek that Taeil rubbed away with his thumb. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Taeil said. “I love you.”

Jungwoo smiled, leaning into Taeil’s hand. “I love you too. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary,” Taeil repeated. He kissed Jungwoo, soft and slow. When he pulled away, he wiped the fresh tears away. “Why’re you crying, baby?”

“I’m happy,” Jungwoo said. “You make me so happy.”

Taeil wasn’t a loud person, but he’d scream his love if he had to. If it were what Jungwoo wanted, he’d learn to conquer his fear. If it were what Jungwoo needed, he’d do it without conquering his fear. Jumping blindly was an honour when it was for the person you knew you were meant to be with.

“You make me happy too,” Taeil said. He wasn’t loud, but he wanted to yell. He wasn’t emotional, but he wanted to cry. Five years married to Jungwoo, and Taeil couldn’t wait for the next fifty. If that was rare in marriage, it shouldn’t be. People deserved to feel love like this. Especially if they were Jungwoo.

Jungwoo scrubbed his eyes for a final time and smiled. “Okay! Let’s have breakfast and start the best day ever.”

“Best day ever?” Taeil asked. “But you can’t see the roses.”

“I get to spend the day excited to see them next week,” Jungwoo said. “I get to spend the day with you. Why wouldn’t it be the best day ever?”

Taeil rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. “You’re too sweet.”

“You are too,” Jungwoo said, firm. “Would you like me to make breakfast?”

“No,” Taeil said immediately. “If we’re going to the library, I’ll be the one that makes breakfast.” He climbed out of bed, dropping a kiss to Jungwoo’s head. “You stay warm in here.”

Jungwoo shook his head, following Taeil out of bed and out of the bedroom. His hands encircled Taeil’s waist and he rested his chin on Taeil’s shoulder as they walked. “I’ll help you cook,” he said. “I’ll pass you ingredients from the cupboard. Let’s give your old stool a rest.”

Taeil laughed. He poked Jungwoo in the side and laughed harder when Jungwoo squawked, stumbling over the bottom of his pink bunny pyjamas. Taeil helped him stay steady.

It was an effort to keep Jungwoo and all of his height upright on their slippery hardwood floor, but it was effort worth expending.

With Jungwoo, effort was always worth the energy. Taeil knew it would be returned.

Love wasn’t always pretty, but neither was Jungwoo. Taeil wasn’t either.

They loved each other anyway, and that was constant. That was love.

The anyway within love was what made love something. The something that Taeil couldn’t name. The callous on the bottom of a foot, and Jungwoo’s contagious laughter after Taeil had said it. It didn’t come out as romantic as he’d intended, but it didn’t matter. Jungwoo didn’t care, he just cared that Taeil had tried.

The moment Jungwoo had met Taeil at that party and had asked him out on a date, wheezing painfully when he’d said yes, Taeil had known he’d never stop trying.


End file.
